Day Forty Seven

Spent the day at the conference then headed back to Dallas with my best friend (who lives in Austin) to go to a concert.  Lots of talk and a few tears on the four hour drive, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as our earlier conversations about this mess had been.  I discovered that I did have more hope than I thought.  Maybe we could get through this.  I had missed him these past two days and was looking forward to crawling into bed with him later that night. 

I arrived home, he was asleep and I curled up next to him… a little drunk and tired, I quietly cried myself to sleep.  I love him so much, I am so afraid to lose him yet I cant imagine life going on like this.  How in the hell are we going to get through this?  How can I love him so much after all he had put me through?  Was it him I loved or the person he once was?  Will he ever be the man I need him to be and will I ever forgive him?