Fun day today! I went to my gynecologist to get my annual exam and STD/HIV testing. Woo hoo. I had to sign all these forms about HIV testing, endure the questions… “Still married?” “Yes” “Still monogamous?” “No.” Of course I had to offer an explanation, there was no way in hell I was going to let anyone think I was the one who cheated. Then there were the questions on my health, I need to eat more and start taking a vitamin. She wanted a full work up of my blood and insisted that I return next week to weigh in (to make sure I don’t lose anymore weight) and get the results of the HIV test. Awesome. I had to make an appt with the front desk clerk to get my HIV results. Sweet.
All of this just made me relive that first, horrible day. Luckily, he was warm and sweet and caring when he came home that night. We hardly mentioned what I had gone through that day, it was pointless to do so since the entire thing made us both uncomfortable and there was no changing it. He did this, I am living with the repercussions of it. Today I knew that he felt bad about it, somewhere in his unemotional, unfeeling self he felt like an asshole.
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