Instead of contacting her, I have chosen to be the bigger person and keep her out of our lives... but I cant hold ALL of my feelings in, so I am sharing these letters I wrote for her with you all!
Letter #1 - this one was actually sent the night I found out... no, she never responded.
I hope you and Mike understand that you have destroyed our family... your "meaningless" (as he put it) sexual encounters, after you KNEW what problems we were having, have not only changed my life but the lives of two very innocent, amazing children whose father is now reduced to a weekend visitor, at best. He says he doesnt love you. He says you mean nothing to him. He has NO plans of continuing your "relationship" and actually told me that he wants to work it out with me. Unfortunately, for him, I am not capable of that. I WILL be moving home to Washington in six months and he will move there also, its been decided. All that being said, I would appreciate some honesty on your part. When did this happen? How many times? Were you with him on his daughters BIRTHDAY when he couldnt make it for dinner?!?!? What has he told you his intentions are with your relationship? I no longer believe anything he tells me, so it would be really nice of you to tell me the TRUTH. You have nothing to lose here, I have already lost everything. Do you get that? EVERYTHING! My kids will be split between two homes, they will be forced to go to daycare and be away from both parents since Mikes income cannot support two households. I have had my heart shattered by someone who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. My entire world is destroyed because the two of you decided to get it on. I saw the messages in regards to apartments... did he say he would move in with you? I saw an email about a cruise and trip to the california coast... did he promise vacations with you? I saw you tell him you love him... do you? Did he tell you he loved you?
I will not make threats and I am not crazy... I just need to know how much he has been lying. I love my family more than anything... as a mother, one would hope that you would make better decisions. It is HORRIBLE what you two have done here. HORRIBLE. Bad people do this to others... and thats what the two of you are. I could give a shit about love and feelings... YOU DESTROYED MY FAMILY. I was about to end this with "I hope you are happy" but I truly, sincerely hope the opposite for the two of you. Misery is all you deserve. I deserve happiness, as I would NEVER do anythign like this. Do you know that Mike had sex with me this morning and Sunday night? How does that make you feel that he is actively sleeping with ME, telling ME that he loves me and seeing a marriage counselor with ME?!?!?!?!?
Letter #2 - I did not send this, but I want to everyday.
Hopefully this is the last communication you will have with any of my family that you nearly destroyed... including MY husband. That includes all crazy late night phone calls to OUR friends. You are no longer welcome, not that you ever were by me, in our life. He does not love you. He never did. He got "caught up" in some fantasy life where you were just a silly little insignificant being that screwed up our world. My world. My kids world. You were nothing but "a mistake" (his exact words), his biggest regret in life and something he wishes never happened. My children will hopefully never learn of this and will be brought up to respect relationships and not turn out like the two of you. Selfish, horrible people who put her own disgusting urges before the kids' well being. As a mother one would hope that you would be a better person, the person you want your son to marry. Let’s hope he doesn’t. He deserves better than you. I hope he grows up not knowing how horrible you were in this. What kind of stepmother did you think you would have been to my kids? Do you really think you are fit to influence a little girl? I have removed myself from people solely because I thought they brought nothing positive to my kids... and they weren’t nearly as despicable as you.
You were just as much a part in this as Mike and I hope you have been honest with your husband about this... Mike seems to think that the two of you should reconcile. I think you should, too, so you will back off my husband. You knew we were having problems and you allowed yourself to be a part of them... the biggest part of them. You snuck around, you betrayed me and you tried to ruin everything. Mike is working so hard to rebuild our relationship, I only hope that you finally have a little bit of repsect for yourself and for me and my family to STAY AWAY.
I know you went to St Louis
You didn’t love him, there is no way you could. You didn’t know him. You knew a man who was confused, afraid and dishonest. You knew a man who he never thought he could be. With you he was a cheater, a liar and a filthy man who snuck around and betrayed his family. The fact that you feel that you fell in love with a man like that is disturbing and if you hadn’t continued to sneak around (calling him from friends phones, emailing solely on his hotmail account, asking him to remove me from my own cell phone account, etc) after I found the first text message, I might feel a little sorry for you. I don’t. I feel hatred and pain and a constant sickness about the kind of person you are. Its disgusting what you have done, pushing yourself on him even after I found out. I hope you are embarrassed about your call to John, one that will be a joke to John's wife and I for years to come. You are now just some crazy bitch who can’t take no for an answer. Some slutty girl who tried to ruin a family that was in distress and needed help, not a whore to come in and take advantage of a man who was lost. He is not off the hook here, don’t get me wrong. He is just as much to blame as you, but he will work the rest of his life showing me how sorry he is and how much he regrets any involvement with you. He has shown remorse, but you... oh, you... you just get off with a little hand slap. Oh, poor little Cassie... Mike doesnt love her. Mike fell for her money and her lifestyle, and could care less about her as a person. I want so badly to tell Brad, your mayor mom and your powerful father EVERYTHING about you. I have tons of proof, too. TONS. I wont, though, because I want you to disappear... to fade into a horrible memory.
I hope this hurts you. I hope you feel pain, you deserve every last bit of it. Whatever pain you might feel right now, if you have made it this far into this email, is NOTHING compared to what I have to live with. Through this I have learned about the truest form of unconditional love, it is what I have with Mike. You were just an unnecessary and unfortunate condition that brought us closer together, that showed us an unconditional love for each other.
I know you have to see him in June at work and I hope that you are smart enough to stay as far away from him as possible. You are disgusting.
Letter #3 - written sometime in July. I didnt send it. I hit a low point this month and was convinced we were not going to make it.
Letter #3 - written sometime in July. I didnt send it. I hit a low point this month and was convinced we were not going to make it.
Not a day goes by that I dont think about what you and Mike did to me and my kids. I am constantly checking his where abouts, snooping through emails and phone records and basically stalking the both of you the best I can to make myself sure that you arent together. Its not working. I have no faith in him as a man or a father... I mean, he gave up such valuable time with my babies to see you. He came home early from St Louis at least once (that I know of) without our knowledge, spent god only knows how much time before and after work pleasuring you and I dont even want to know the other details of this horrible thing. I know enough of your visit to St Louis, the dinner you shared on my dead fathers birthday and the countless hours he spent on the phone with you. He should have been with his kids. What kind of father does that? What kind of father turns into this man that his son should NOT follow in the footsteps of? I dont know if I can ever see past this. I dont know if I will ever respect him again or have the love for him that I once did. All I know is that he SAYS he loves me, he SAYS he wants to be with me forever, he SAYS he regrets every second he spent with you and he SAYS he hasnt spoken with or seen you since this all went down in the fiery inferno that destroyed me.
Sounds romantic and mushy, right? Wrong. He also, while you two were cavorting, SAID he didnt want to leave me. SAID he loved me but was "concerned" about a lack of passion and SAID he would do everything in his power to get us back on the right track. All the while he was sleeping with you and making plans for your future and, I'm sure, telling you how horrible I was. Well, I need to tell you that our sex life never once suffered while you two were fucking eachothers brains out. He came home and slept with me, too. Dirty, huh? Absolutely filthy. I had to go to my doctor and tell them that my husband was fucking the owner of a yogurt shop in Grapevine and that I needed a complete STD and AIDS work up. Well, my work isnt done... I still have to be tested annually for any of the disgusting diseases the two of you could have passed to me and cant even give blood anymore. Thanks for that. I have been an avid donor since my dad died and now, that peice of my healing over the death of my father has been taken away from me.
There is a point to this. Have you seen him? Emailed? Messaged? Spoken? Fucked? I dont believe him. I am a constant wreck over this and I still cant sleep or eat much. I have lost 10 pounds on my already small frame (I weigh 108 lbs at 5'6"... jealous? He told me about your little anorexia issue.) I need answers. Proof.
I will tell you that, in case you are interested, its probably not going to work between he and I. My expectations are low and I cant really picture my life with someone who is capable of the deceit and horribly selfish behavior. He is a coward. He told me that, in the days before the night I had the pleasure of calling you, he had decided he wanted to be with me. He still emailed and called and spoke to you like you were the one he chose. His mother was not in the car with him nor was there ever a discussion about her coming home with him that night. He constantly lied to you, too. He is a pussy, plain and simple. He doesnt like to be unpopular, he tells people what they want to hear so he doesnt have to deal with disapointing everyone, but will disapoint the shit out of you behind your back. Trust me. He will probably always do this to me and to my kids.
I am still here for my kids. They deserve to remember a life with their father... a life before mommy left and daddy chose his job over them. A life before disapointment. I am 100% sure that, once I leave, I will constantly be consoling my kids because daddy's late or had to work and cant spend the day with them. It sucks to have your dad chose his career over fatherhood, doesnt it? I know your life has a been a mess because of your dad, how could you inflict your issues on my kids? You are just as bad as your rich, but worthless, father.
