Happy birthday to him. I spent the day cleaning and preparing for friends to come over to bbq and drink and swim and have a good time… He and his brother went out for a few drinks before our friends came over and he completely ignored me once he returned home. He was in his “host” mode which is normal, but this time it pissed me off. I wanted him to thank me for all I had done, I wanted him to include me in all of his conversations and I wanted him to want to be as close to me as possible… I realize now that all of that was CRAZY, but at the time it slowly ate away at me, making me crazier and crazier as time went on. Once it was time to put the kids to bed, I snapped. Broke down, told him that he was ignoring me and being mean and, the second it all left my mouth, I realized how nuts I sounded. Why am I on this mission to sabatoge everything?
We actually had a pretty good night after that. He seems to be fairly understanding of my crazy and allowed me to have it, then apologize, then go on with the night like it didn’t happen. He was more attentive to me after that, made efforts that were unlike him and made me feel like he understood what I was going through and was not going to walk away. That’s what I need from him and he delivered. Good boy.
Thank you so much for this blog. I am amazed that you as far along as you are in this process at less than 3 months after discovery. I am almost 6 months out and feel so crazy still! Best of luck to you with this.
ReplyDelete