Day Seventy Five

Day two of corporate at work, no contact again until they left at 4pm.  He text me that he had gotten a really high score on his audit and was very excited about it!  While he text me, my crazy took over and I was searching through phone records that they said he was in Irving (where she lives) when he should have been at work.  I don’t know how accurate these records are, especially since there were times it said he was in Irving only 4 minutes after he was in Dallas, then he was supposedly back in Dallas a few minutes later.  The ones that concerned me were the ones where there was very little contact with anyone, just missed calls, for extended periods of time stating he was in Irving.  Soooo… in my crazy, I texted him asking if he was still seeing her.  Then sent another begging him to be honest, that I could handle it.  This, of course, got me a phone call and he seemed really shocked, but asked where I got that info.  My biggest fear is not that I caught him cheating, but that I gave up a very valuable source of information that could have one day REALLY caught him.  He swore up and down that it was over, there was no contact and he would try to find me proof that he was in Dallas during those times.  He looked up sent emails, his schedule, everything he could to try to prove it to me.  What really sucks is that all of those emails could have been sent from his laptop anywhere and just because there is a meeting on his schedule, doesn’t mean there actually was.  I have to make the decision to believe him. 

I actually apologized to him for bombarding him with it during this big event and right after such good news.  I realized, even in the midst of my crazy, that I needed to be there for him if I want him there for me.  It’s a two way street… even if he cheated.  I made the decision to work it out and I need to make more attempts to accomplish that, or its never going to work.