Managed to crawl out of bed on my own today and made it to church... of course we were late so we were seated in the middle of a crowded aisle and behind the tallest person in Texas. Attempting to move my neck to see the pastor was incredibly painful, but I kept doing it, I couldnt help it.
Todays sermon was about praying, the power of prayer and the fact that we basically need to annoy God with our incessant praying to get what He thinks we need out of it. The visiting pastor talked a lot about Gods plan for us and about how, when our prayers arent answered, there is a reason for that and only God knows that reason. I cant help but think about God putting me in this position AGAIN and what positive outcome I am supposed to experience from having my heart blown to a million tiny pieces. Whatever it is, I am closer and closer to surrendering my whole life to Him to get the answers. Today was the first day I didnt cry in church, instead I left very determined to annoy Him with my prayers so that I can finally be heard and he will finally bring me some peace. Throughout all of this affair nonsense, I havent had a moment of peace.
I am a year out of D-Day, I know it feels like it will never get better. But remember God has a plan for you.. You will survive this.. Keep the Faith.. I'm praying for your healing..
ReplyDeleteI have read everyday of your blog and I am hoping that you are going to continue with what is going on within yourself and your marriage. As a WH I have gotten some very good insight as to how my wife may be feeling and I appreciate you putting into words.
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