Today was a busy one!!! I had work to do, had a doctors appt and had various things to take care of around the house. My new job has kept me fairly busy, which has been a blessing and a curse. When I get too busy now, I get really overwhelmed and in near-breakdown mode. I usually have to call him several times for support and wind up yelling at my kids, then apologizing while frantically trying to get done what I need to get done. I am such a mess! Still, after eighty eight days I am a wreck!
He helped me a lot today, offered to take a few tasks off my hands and even left a little early from work to help out. He even suggested I take the kids to playcare (which costs $11 an hour) just so I could have some quiet time to get my work done. Luckily, they both took long naps and I was able to calm down a little and get down to business, without spending the money to take them to playcare. The dinner I prepared was mediocre, at best, and he ate it all up, never once complaining. He even did the dishes and suggested I take a bath while he put the kids down himself. Of course, the bath never happened because my daughter freaked out over my not putting her to bed for two nights in a row, but the thought was there and I recognize that. He is trying, he really is. I just wish that was enough to erase all of this.
The day I discovered that my husband was having an affair was excruciating and the days that followed were worse. My life became filled with horrible realizations and images of the affair, which turned out to be some of the most painful days I had lived. I share this to bring comfort and support to anyone who has gone through this AND bring about a sense of reality to anyone who is cheating... this is how you make them feel and this is what you have done to a person who does NOT deserve this.
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
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