Day Ten

Today he will pick his mother up from the airport and tell her everything… well, at least I think he will tell her everything.  After that, we will go out to dinner again before he returns home tomorrow night.  I want him to call me or text me or email me or do SOMETHING to show that he is in this.  That he wants this.  I feel powerless and maybe the sexual activity last night was my trying to win him back.  Show him that I can give him what he needs.  I feel slightly dirty, like a one night stand just took place with my best friend and I don’t know how to face it.  At least he is not talking to her anymore.  She hasn’t made any contact with him and hopefully will be gone forever…

Dinner was great. We had the same chemistry as last night, except this time we went back to his hotel room for a bit before I headed home to relieve my sister of her babysitting duties.  What happened in the car on the way to the hotel was wild.  We did and said things that I would have never thought would happen.  Illegal things that could have gotten us into a car accident, except they all felt so good that we couldn’t stop.  At the end, while still laying in bed naked and he inside my body I burst into tears at the thought of the two of them together.  Did he touch her the same way?  Did he tell her how good it all felt?  I left in a daze, barely able to handle the terrible thunderstorm storm that awaited me.  As I drove home, I was pummeled by hail and cried relentlessly in my car.  I called him to be my savior, to talk me through the drive and I realized at that point that he was the only person I ever wanted to call to save me, but I didn’t trust him to follow through with it.