Day Nineteen

Its time to go home.  Back to him, back to our home, our life, our children.  My flight is horrendous, more turbulence than I have ever experienced, which is definitely ironic, since the life I was returning to was going to be much worse.

I walked into my house, which had been adequately cleaned and all preparations for the following days family dinner had been taken care of, and I felt strange.  A stranger.  I didn’t really feel like I belonged there.  I wanted to get right back on a plane and go home to Washington, where I belong.  Then I considered my two babies, peacefully sleeping and excited about mommy coming home… THIS is where I need to be.  We went to bed and he held me so tight, the whole night.  I wanted to feel safe with him, to feel loved.  I searched and searched for those feelings until the melatonin pill that I have used for sleeping kicked in and I fell asleep in his arms.