I met him at his work tonight for a date night to a favorite concert of ours. We walked around his building gathering things we were borrowing for the concert, the whole time I was wondering where they had sex, if we were walking near places where they had done it. I felt disgusting, but I powered through it. I was not going to let this ruin my night. I was paying a very expensive babysitter, I looked HOT and was ready for a good time!
At the concert we had a blast, made out like teenagers, made fun of people and truly enjoyed each others company. We rocked out! We took pictures, drank beer and ate nachos. A perfect evening, except for the whole affair thing hanging over our heads like a dark, wet cloud that was about to rain thunder and lightening all over our lives. I am trying so hard to be positive but something in me tells me that we are nearing the end. I cant help it. Its there, even though I don’t want it to be. I push it out of my head all day everyday, but it comes back stronger, more vivid. I cant imagine living my entire life with someone who could do this to me... to our family. I am trying so hard to make it through this, but I fear that I am just not strong enough.
